We are a satirical publication with a limited correspondence policy. Below, the two categories of message we accept and how to direct each.
For privacy requests (GDPR, CCPA/CPRA, or analogous), DMCA notices, legal process, or other formal correspondence, please write to:
This address is monitored by the Editor and is a working mailbox. For formal notices, please include — where applicable — a clear statement of your request, your jurisdiction of residence (for privacy requests), and any supporting documentation. General reader correspondence is also welcome at this address; replies are irregular but not, as a rule, denied.
We are — this cannot be stressed enough — a humor publication, not a law firm, and not able to help with actual legal questions. If you are facing a real legal issue, please reach out to one of the following:
For a broader list of credible organizations — including child health and behavior, mental-health crisis support, and media guidance — see our Resources page.
If a child is in immediate danger, call 911. For guidance, support, or to talk through a concern about possible abuse or neglect, the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-422-4453 (call or text). Childhelp provides crisis counseling and can help you understand how to report; it is not itself an emergency service and does not replace 911.
The Journal does not solicit reader mail and does not, as a rule, respond to correspondence beyond the categories above. Nothing in any exchange with us constitutes legal advice or establishes any attorney-client relationship. No such relationship is possible, because no attorney is involved.